Yeah, "Dirty Hands" kind of won me over to Seelix too, or at least made me remember that she had won me over back in the day when she and Chief, Cally, Crashdown and Baltar were all stranded on Kobol. She was awesome in the few bits she was allowed in that arc. It's too bad we didn't get to see more of her. So there wasn't much to go on with her other than the buried rage we saw in her in "Dirty Hands". But that kind of worked here for the dark, frakked-up sort of fic I wanted to write here.
As a consumnate Baltar/Gaeta shipper, I was glad to hear that the dream sequence worked for you. I really wanted to highlight Felix's passiveness, so I am so pleased that you got that right away, that it came true. Even though I was the one writing it, I felt so heartbroken that poor Felix was unable to resist Gaius objectifying him like that, that he was too numb and too grateful for any connection at all, even a dysfunctional one, that he would consent to this on a regular basis. In my mind, Gaius was also attracted to the game because he had abdicated control of everything to Felix out of laziness, yet craved the rush of controlling something. He probably also wanted to reassure himself that Felix wasn't really a better person than him, since the guy couldn't resist Gaius repeatedly demeaning him like that.
I also like that when Felix takes Seelix down to the airlock he doesn't even know what he wants out of the situation. Again it is more of a power play scenario
I agree. I was trying very hard to link Felix's frakked-up guilt and passivity with Gaius on New Caprica and the situation with Seelix, the way he kept reacting to her harrassment with such passivity, not informing anyone about it, not even letting Dee in on what was going on. I think at this point that Felix had such a sense of a foreshortened future that he couldn't even conceive of how to start to feel better, so he just repeats the power plays he's been subject to by others, unable to think of any other solution. And of course, it doesn't work at all, and he just feels degraded in the process.
Oh, and thanks for mentioning the Dee and Felix parts. I always loved their relationship throughout the series, and I always wondered how New Caprica affected their relationship, and how much Dee tried to help Felix with his trauma, which she must have had a hard time understanding/identifying with.
Thanks so much for your lovely comment to this difficult fic!
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2009-04-17 09:59 pm (UTC)As a consumnate Baltar/Gaeta shipper, I was glad to hear that the dream sequence worked for you. I really wanted to highlight Felix's passiveness, so I am so pleased that you got that right away, that it came true. Even though I was the one writing it, I felt so heartbroken that poor Felix was unable to resist Gaius objectifying him like that, that he was too numb and too grateful for any connection at all, even a dysfunctional one, that he would consent to this on a regular basis. In my mind, Gaius was also attracted to the game because he had abdicated control of everything to Felix out of laziness, yet craved the rush of controlling something. He probably also wanted to reassure himself that Felix wasn't really a better person than him, since the guy couldn't resist Gaius repeatedly demeaning him like that.
I also like that when Felix takes Seelix down to the airlock he doesn't even know what he wants out of the situation. Again it is more of a power play scenario
I agree. I was trying very hard to link Felix's frakked-up guilt and passivity with Gaius on New Caprica and the situation with Seelix, the way he kept reacting to her harrassment with such passivity, not informing anyone about it, not even letting Dee in on what was going on. I think at this point that Felix had such a sense of a foreshortened future that he couldn't even conceive of how to start to feel better, so he just repeats the power plays he's been subject to by others, unable to think of any other solution. And of course, it doesn't work at all, and he just feels degraded in the process.
Oh, and thanks for mentioning the Dee and Felix parts. I always loved their relationship throughout the series, and I always wondered how New Caprica affected their relationship, and how much Dee tried to help Felix with his trauma, which she must have had a hard time understanding/identifying with.
Thanks so much for your lovely comment to this difficult fic!